By "the rent is cheap" you mean you can afford it right?
If by affording it you mean “sharing it with a roomie,” then yes.
Do you have the rent on you? Or should you try to sneak around him tonight?
Uh... I mean my heart says. check under the Fez.
But nah, just poke ‘em!
No one knows where Mr. Lugal came from, but rumor is that he led a wild life before settling down to run a dry cleaner business. After moving in he started looking after the apartments in your building, and keeping unwanted visitors out, and despite the story of him having eaten an unruly tenant you feel safer with him around.
Which is why you feel guilty for skipping this month’s rent. You don’t want to choose between paying him and your weekend trip, so you have had a compelling reason to avoid him completely. You’ve already promised yourself to pay him back with interest, or at least to be extra nice to him in the future.
But for now he is laying on the floor fast asleep. You start inching around him, stop, and then reach for his fez. Suddenly you lose your balance and poke him squarely in the neck! He wakes up with a start.
“Just what are you doing, young miss?”
“I’m sorry Mr. Lugal, I was trying to peek under your fez.”
“That’s Mr. Lugalzagesi to you. What on Earth bedeviled you to do that?”
“Your treasure of course, Mr. Lugalzagesi. It’s the last place I haven’t checked yet!”
“I’m pleased to hear that even after all this time you’re still looking for my golden doubloons. You know, I worked hard to wrest them from the hands of the pirates-”
“-when you sailed the seven seas yes. I’ve heard the story before.”
“Are you feeling well, miss Vivian? You seem haggard.”
“Can’t say I’m doing that great. I’ve seen better days.”
“Maybe surprising an old man would cheer you up?”
“I don’t have your rent Mr. Lugal. I’ve been saving up for a trip and money’s tight right now.”
“But I have a laundry to run and kittens to feed! All of that racks up expenses. Surely I perish without your financial contribution!”
“Can’t you sell your other treasures to tide you over?”
“Old mementoes don’t buy cat food.” He shakes his head ruefully.
take a nap next to him and accept this as your punishment for not paying the rent earlier
What happened to you old man? You used to go on and on about your good old days of adventuring and how you wished they'd come back. Now bees and monsters and other things are fighting all around us and you only care about your landlord and dry-cleaning businesses. Where is your enthusiasm? Your joie de vivre?
You sigh. “I can’t help you, but I can keep you company. It’s the least I can do.” You climb over him and nestle in his coils comfortably.
“Correct, there’s so much more you could do. Like paying me the money you owe for starters.” He sounds annoyed, but does not shake you off.
“Lugal, where it went wrong?” You cross your fingers on your belly and study the ceiling. “You used to be an adventurer, not this bean counter I see. Where’s the excitement, the drama in your life now?”
“Keeping everything up and running is an adventure of its own. What you call bean counting is the difference between success and disaster, miss Vivian.”
“You know, I think your gold coins never existed, that they are a tale you told me to instill the sense of adventure in me and to follow in your footsteps.” You glance downwards. “Figuratively speaking of course.”
He frowns. "I’m not a mentor character in some hokey adventure story. I ensure you that they’re very real and that they were stolen from me using deceit and guile."
“Oh.”
You sit in silence and twiddle your thumbs for a while. Old Man Lugalzagesi is lost in his thoughts, and you are not certain that they are happy ones. Maybe what you said is having an effect on him?
Eventually you feel the need to say something, just to cheer him up. “I think you should call up your old gang and go on a one more adventure, for old times’ sake!”
He looks down at you. “I attended my oldest friend’s funeral last year,” he says matter-of-factly. “Of us five I am the last one alive.”
“I didn’t know. I’m sorry.”
He shakes his head a little. “Don’t be, he lived a good life. Oh, what a rowdy bunch we were! We hunted for treasure but found friendship, and love, and nothing was impossible for us. Such wild schemes and narrow escapes we had…” He looks away. “And now they’ve become just memories for an old man.”
“I’m sorry,” you repeat because you don’t know what else to say.
“Don’t be, I’ll always have my stories.” He looks back at you with a melancholic smile, but then raises his eyebrows. “They can be yours too, if you want to listen.”
You pause. The awkwardness of the moment burns like a ball of coals in the pit of your stomach.
“I… I’d like that very much please.”
“Good.” He loosens his coils shaking you off, and you slide to the ground. “Pop in my shop anytime with the rent money, and I’ll share some with you. Try not to make me wait for an entire month, okay?”
Feeling embarrassed for reasons not entirely clear to yourself you just nod.
You watch as he slithers away humming to himself, and wait until he disappears behind the corner before you open the door to your apartment.
“Oh hai Viv, how was work today? I made lasagna, your favorite!”
