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Post by saltysteak on Feb 13, 2021 20:55:33 GMT -5
 A Russian man stands in his nuclear bunker. A member of the Red Army, he has just survived the apocalypse, and has locked himself down here. What will he do? > Salute Stalin photo.  You salute your photograph of Grand Marshal Stalin. Man: Goodbye, Comrade Stalin. Although I do not know whether you are alive or dead, I will continue to serve you and the Soviet Union until the end! We will not perish under the capitalist pigs! May the Great Union survive the nuclear hellscape and live again! > Reveal the rest of the bunker.  You show us the other side of the bunker, your bedroom. Your WW2-era weapons are still hanging on your wall, waiting to be used. You own a few volumes of Russian literature, to pass the time. Your workbench is still here, with some blueprints and tools. Your father was an architect and engineer, and you've picked up some of his skills. > Take a smoke.   You light one of your premium Russian cigarettes, and take a smoke. Apart from food and water, cigarettes are the most important things to you, so you stockpiled quite a few packs. It's relaxing, and it makes you forget that you're trapped in a small bunker with hostile radiation around you. |
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Post by saltysteak on Feb 15, 2021 10:48:35 GMT -5
>Get some reading done.  You open up to a bookmarked page of the Communist Manifesto, and begin reading it. It's your 5th time reading it, and you appreciate it more and more every time you reread it. You love Marx's prose, and his idealism is exactly what you've been hoping for. Unfortunately, the world revolution hasn't happened yet, since the stubborn capitalists have been reluctant to change. But you believe, with the ashes of nuclear fire, a new, socialist world will be reborn! >Inquire about the long, green, pole shaped object.  Oh this? This is your periscope, the only way you can see what's happening out there. It pokes out of the ground, so you can have a clear view of the outside world. >Look through periscope.   OH HELL NO. >Meanwhile, above the bunker:  Bandit 2: Bro, are you done yet? Bandit 1: Hold on, I just gotta wait for him to see.. snrk Bandit 2: We've been waiting for 5 minutes! Do you want us to get shot? Bandit 1: I think he’s about to look… right about… nowMan: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Bandit 1: HAHAHAHAHA Bandit 2: Alright, that was pretty funny Bandit 2: Now are we gonna get this raid started? Bandit 1: Aight bro, just let me get the shovels. |
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Post by Eversor on Feb 15, 2021 12:11:26 GMT -5
Uh oh....We got bamboozled. Do we have anything to stop these hoodlums from breaking our bunker?
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Post by saltysteak on Feb 16, 2021 11:09:55 GMT -5
===>  Oh god.. are they armed? One of them has a rifle... they must be bandits! Wait, now they're digging? FUCK FUCK THEY'RE COMING >Prepare for the invasion.  Unfortunately, none of your guns have any ammo! Even your pistol is dry. You could still look for some improvised weapons. ===>   You almost forgot! Inside your drawer is your army-issued combat knife. You earned it during WW2, fighting the Germans on the eastern front. It still has some dried blood on it too.  They're here! You get into position, pistol pointing straight at them. You hope the sight of the empty pistol will be enough to deter them, but you have your knife ready if they don't back down. |
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Post by Eversor on Feb 16, 2021 11:19:17 GMT -5
>Throw Gun, Shoot Knife.
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Post by saltysteak on Feb 17, 2021 14:57:03 GMT -5
===>  Man: HEY HEY HEY! GET OUT OF MY BUNKER, OR I'LL SHOOT! I MEAN IT Bandit 1: Do it, I dare you!Bandit 2: What's going on down there?Bandit 1: He's armed!Bandit 2: *sigh* Every bunker we raid is armed! Just hold him off until I come down, and if he tries to shoot you, shoot him first.Bandit 1: Fine. I warned you pal! Try anything, and I'll blow your head off!Bandit 2: Don't kill him yet, just incapacitate him. We'll kill him after we take everything. After all, he might be hiding valuables.>Throw your gun at him.  It didn't work, he's still standing! And he seems to be more annoyed. >Use knife to deter opponent. ![]() ![]()  OWWWWWWWWWWWW! ====>  Bandit 2: Good work bro!Bandit 1: Thanks! He won't be getting up anytime soon.Man: What do you two want?! Bandit 2: Simple. We want everything you have. Money, food, water, cigarettes, ammo, and any other valuables.Man: Please.. I don't have any valuables. Bandit 2: Yea right. Check the cabinets and drawers for anything valuable, I'll start taking the food.Bandit 1: Alright.Bandit 2: Rest assured, we'll still kill you. But I want to watch you squirm painfully. Hehehe... |
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Post by Eversor on Feb 18, 2021 10:42:50 GMT -5
>Squirm, but in elation. Because you have a plan, a plan to thwart the raiders. It will be glorious....Right?
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Post by saltysteak on Feb 19, 2021 13:35:32 GMT -5
 Bandit 2: Hmmm... these are some good stockpiles! I'm gonna take all of it!You grab the knife. Now's your chance! >Throw your knife.   Bandit 2: OWWWWWWWWW!!!===>  Bandit 2: YOU MOTHERFUCKER!
Bandit 2: I tried to let you bleed out slowly, but you don't even deserve that!
Bandit 2: That's it, prepare to die!
======>  GOTCHA BITCH |
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Post by Fish on Feb 19, 2021 13:46:58 GMT -5
harness the power of your faith and confidence in socialist ideals to overcome this bandit. Make a point of telling them that, if they had requested assistance instead of trying to take things from you, all of this could have been avoided.
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Post by Eversor on Feb 19, 2021 14:49:04 GMT -5
What would Karl Marx do?!
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Post by saltysteak on Feb 20, 2021 19:31:03 GMT -5
>Lecture the bandit on socialist values.  While you hold his legs down, you lecture him on your ideals, and that if he had just asked for food, water, and shelter, you would've given it to him. As a good Marxist and Russian, it is your duty to provide anyone help if they need it. However, he doesn't seem to be listening, and is instead screaming for help and shouting obscenities at you. >Confiscate his rifle.   You confiscate the bandit's rifle, but then, the other bandit comes out of the bedroom! Bandit 1: Bro, you good? What's goin on?===>  ' You point the rifle at him. Bandit 1: You ok.. OH MY GOD HE'S GOT YOUR GUN! DON'T SHOOT!  You unload the entire clip into the bandit. By the time you're finished, he is very much dead. 1/2 Bandits Defeated! |
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Post by Eversor on Feb 22, 2021 10:32:25 GMT -5
Wow Comrade, this is escalating quick.
Well uh, no job worth doing is worth doing halfway.
>Use rifle as club, commence clubin'
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Post by saltysteak on Feb 22, 2021 12:16:25 GMT -5
  ====>   Did he just.. ruin your hat?! THAT'S IT!!!!!====>  ===>   Well, looks like he died. It was actually easier then you thought. 2/2 bandits defeated! |
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Post by BreadProduct on Feb 22, 2021 13:27:23 GMT -5
You need to heal yourself quick! To your vodka supply!
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Post by Eversor on Feb 23, 2021 9:41:13 GMT -5
Yeah, take care of your injuries you dont want this to become 3/2 bandits defeated. You aren't even a bandit, the whole counting system would be ruined!
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